Why is it that in every relationship we enter we are always thinking about what we can get? We rarely take a moment to realize all that we can give. We stay focused on listing all the things the other person can provide us with instead of listing all the great things we can provide them with.
Not just romantic relationships. I’m talking friendships, family relationships, co worker relationships, etc. We shouldn’t walk into these relationships with empty pockets and open hands expecting to get, get and get.
When we do something for one person, we expect to get the same or even more in return. It’s not the other person we should be looking at and expecting more for instead it’s ourselves we should be expecting more from. We should expect ourselves to know better then setting expectations for our loved ones.
It’s difficult to understand that we aren’t all the same but we need to learn to understand. Maybe, what the other person does for you is the best they can do? Maybe, that’s all that they can give and you must be able to accept that. Each and everyone of us has a unique identify. We must accept that and appreciate what each one of us can offer instead of setting high expectation for one another.
Focus on individuality. What can you give them? Love, support, confidence, encouragement, advice, availability, etc. Whatever is it, you must be willing to give it without the mindset of expecting to get anything in return.
Such a hard concept to master especially when you have a big heart and you’re super sensitive. For years, I been setting myself up for disappointment by waiting for everyone else to as I do and then some. I been struggling with understanding that the value of giving is not directly associated with receiving. I been dealing with unnecessary pain by setting high bars for everyone around me. I didn’t realize that I was granting other people’s actions the power to control the way I feel.
We must give to give from our heart and not expect to get from give.
Stop thinking about what you can take and start thinking about what you can give.